sábado, 18 de abril de 2009
a fork in the road
I’ve been going through Matthew, (1st book of the new testament of the Bible) something I haven’t done since I was little. I’m learning that Jesus’ words are deep, almost painful. I claim to follow Him, but do I really know what that means? Maybe following someone is more than reading their words, its living that out. I have had conversations with people who aren’t sure about God ask me, “If there is a God, why is there so much pain and suffering in this world?” That’s something that’s bothered me for a long time too.
But maybe it’s because people like me with the education and resources don’t do anything about it.
Once I acknowledge that truth, there is no going back to the way it used to be. All this ‘stuff’ I have makes me sick to my stomach. Yeah, I might be a poor student with no steady income… But I still manage to eat (sometimes too much) and buy clothes (beyond the point of need) and seek entertainment (I certainly watch more TV or play on the internet more than I volunteer), and be caught up in MY life, this black hole of materialism and self… Maybe that’s where free will and all this injustice in our world ties together. Maybe God granted us free will, and some with material blessings to lavishly give to those who struggle.
God calls us to be good stewards of our talents (money, resources, time and intellectual gifts) Does that just mean not going into debt and buying in moderation? What about the people who worry about where they are going to sleep when it rains? Or can’t feed their family consistently? What about the generationally poor people? The beggars? The orphans? They have a bit more to worry about than “living in moderation.” Jesus doesn’t say “if you give…” He teaches us “when you give” (Matthew 6). He assumes we give. He commands it. It’s so true, He continues… Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. (Mt 6:21) So check your bank statements. Where is your heart at? I say I care so much about these kids, those who suffer, but on a material account I sure don’t give the majority of my resources to changing that. The Bible tells us to give 10% of our resources to the church. [Sad statistic, the average ‘Christian’ in America only gives 2-3% and the average person under age 25 is 0%... ouch] But it has to be more than that. We have to give more than just to the church. Our lives should be an outpouring. How much more if we are economically blessed?? How can I reconcile a just God when 30,000 children a day die of hunger?? How can I be ok with that? How can I be so numb? How can I be content to live in excess? In light of those dying and suffering when I dump out food everyday, how could I possibly be content frivolously spending ‘my’ money?
Something has got to change. If I start walking down this new path in light of His Truth, it can’t be how it was before. It’s not possible. Maybe compassion and justice is in our hands. Maybe we have to live fighting for this truth. Aren’t we all human after all? Don’t we all deserve the chance to live?
I’m not too young or too poor or too far removed to do something about this world’s inequality. Its simple math. Those who have a lot give a lot to those who have nothing and we all can have a little. It’s just hard to do. Money has a way of gripping our hearts, and this self-entitlement creeps in… “but I worked for it, but I deserve it” But I was also born into a family that lives in the wealthiest nation in the world, that can provide for me a roof over my head, food in abundance every day of my life and a college education.
HOLY COW. Someday soon my computer will break and my clothes will tear and all this material crap won’t mean anything anymore. But people do. People always matter, and people deserve to know Jesus through His followers who give generously and live out His gospel, because all we have is all we’ve been given after all.
And until I do something radical, it’s never going to change. I have to put the majority of my time and my resources into causes that honor the words of Jesus, serving and pouring my life out to those who suffer. “To whom much is given, much is required” (Luke 12:48). [Note that He does not say, much is asked, much is welcomed, NO it is expected as a follower of Jesus and is a requirement.] Maybe today is the first day I am truly living with the weight of that responsibility.
Someone hold me accountable; someone care; someone else be passionate about this with me and take this new path in the light of His Truth.
*seriously if you read this, please talk to me, this has shaken up my world and I want to do something, I want to change and I can’t do it alone*
miércoles, 1 de abril de 2009
a bit of Fallas
The Spaniards use their fiestas to find a sense of belonging and build community. The entire city eats, drinks, and dances in the streets of their barrio, and my family does not disappoint. Our small flat which usually just houses my madre and I, hosts my host-brother, wife and daughter, and my host-sister, husband and two sons. Any shreds of order left upon arrival of my naughty little ‘nephews’. I find them regularly hiding my jewelry, drawing on my notebooks and bulletin boards and playing on my computer; as they are ages 4 and 6 it’s a wonder that it’s not all broken. Despite their mischief, I find myself enjoying my family, the noise level and the food and music filled streets. They have truly invited me into the intimacy and chaos that bonds a family and I could not be luckier. Last night my niece and nephew fought to tears over who could sleep in my room with me… In the end they shared a bed, and joined me. I admit I’ll breathe a sigh of relief when it’s all over but for now I am living and living deeply. This truly is my Father’s world, and the farther I get from stability the more my heart irrevocably becomes attached to a place and a people so strange and beautiful.
(Wed, March 15th, 2009)
lunes, 16 de febrero de 2009
España: súper mega-guay
Sun. Glorious sun. Vitamin D seeping into my pores. The groundhog may have seen his shadow, but I sure feel the hope of spring in the air. Yesterday I went running in the “rio”, a dried up riverbed turned into a long park that divides the city. It is now complete with fountains, sport fields, skate parks, playgrounds, orange trees and modern landscape. I see everything from dogs to bikers to skaters to athletes to children to los enamorados… enjoying themselves. It’s a novelty every time. Funny thing how sure I am of God’s presence when I am surrounded by nature. I hear the whistle of the breeze and the calls of the animals, the trickle of water, and the hum of animated conversations. Even the whiz of traffic and boisterous commerce cannot faze me in the least. I am home. Well ok, very far from it. But I am content. I feel God’s presence, here in this strange land, His land, so strongly, maybe even more than I do at home, or maybe just differently. It’s been a challenge. Here I feel quite isolated from fellowship and people who know my heart and share my passions. But I can more confidently be sure of God’s protection and love than ever before.
I am in
Now before I get completely philosophical I must add that the Lord has richly blessed my life here. I live with an endearing and exciting host mom. She is a dress maker for an enormous fiesta here in
Class, I’ll admit is more difficult than I anticipated. I feel like I’m at the level of a 2-year-old’s exponential word acquisition stage. It’s rather overwhelming; my brain whirrs in-between 2 languages regularly, and the classes are challenging with more reading, writing and cultural comprehension than I have ever had before. It’s incredibly interesting and satisfying to be challenged but leaves me feeling weary. Most of my life I have succeeded barely doing the minimum work, and here I have to put in more than average amount [for me].
The culture is not such a shock for me. The food is just like Puerto Rican with sea-food touches, a strange obsession with hamon cerano, extremely strong coffee, and the best, most scrumtulecent oranges. The family life is extremely close, bordering on invasive, but it suits me well. People are caring and communal, even neighbor to neighbor. I walk everywhere, and I imagine it adds up to a nice daily workout. Minimum 6km a day; that’s decent right? My favorite part of the day is the siesta, when all the small stores and shops close and everyone goes home to eat or nap. It’s a glorious, lazy part of the day, but I can’t see how it would be good for the economy. Speaking of
Ahh, and the nightlife.
And tapas, most likely the greatest invention of the Spanish culture, are small appetizers that come with every drink. We went down south to the region of Andalucia a couple weekends ago, another story entirely, but in
Life is strange, and beautiful. I suppose I could continue to fill these virtual pages, there is so much I have seen and done, and much more I have yet to see and do that I fear my list will be interminable. (For the record, interminable is the word of the day according to dictionary.com, not that it’s that clever, but I thought I would throw it in there) I will save more rambling for another day. My prayer is this: that I might live to glorify my Creator and that I will never be content to live for myself. My prayer for all of you is that in spite of life you may always be keenly aware of the presence of God in your life. He is closer than you can imagine.